Sense

Recently I have been confronted with a series of events and situations that have made me realize that I have a problem establishing limits.  I don’t know if it is part of my idiosyncrasy (being mexican we have a cultural resistance on saying “no” and thus hindering our ability to establish limits) or just a way by which I try to be “accepted”.

One generally accepted fact says that limits are not only necessary, they are part of the definition of who we are as individuals, it is the way that we establish our likes and dislikes, our capabilities and our deficits.  We all need some sort of limits in order to focus on what is important in our life.

The problem lies in the relationship between limits and the sacrifices that sometimes are needed in order to fulfill a commitment. Where is the dividing line?  How far must a sacrifice go in order for it to surpass the limits of what is acceptable for a person to endure and still have a sense of dignity?

See the problem?

Like all ethical problems, it needs to be solved on a case by case basis.

For this priorities must be set.  What is important in your life?  Is it work? Is it your family? Is it your social life? In short one must define what one understands as the “quality in life”.

Personally some of my worst mistakes have evolved around the time spent in work and the amount of energy and consciousness provided to it.  I have gone overboard and worked an insane amount of hours and other times I have been so caught up with the personal problems (generally related to the fact that I worked to hard) that I can’t truly focus on being productive.

I know there is balance that must be achieved here.

The other aspect of my life where limits are fuzzy evolves around relationships (amorous and recently even friendly) I don’t know where to draw the line between acceptance of the people I care about and the requirements that need to be fulfilled so my needs are met.  I usually get my head so involved in my idea of commitment that I forget about myself (maybe because I have the idea of “heroic love” you know… the love that remains even if your partner get’s sick and you have to tend to even their basic needs).

Buddhism has taught me that there is always a way to release yourself from the clutch of suffering:  Be always conscious of the moment and do not dwell in the past or future, live and experience the present and there you will find limitless space.

It is a way that you can let a thief enter an empty house where nothing can be taken away and in a sense this is true, just the thought helps me release my grasp on the pain that some sacrifices have endured.  But let’s be honest you can’t go around the world in the form of a door mat you have to be wise and recognize what is truly beneficial to you and to the transgressor of limits, sometimes you need to turn the other cheek and in others, if prudence requires it,  a clear and energetic stand must be made so no more violence can be bestowed upon you.

So with this idea one can realize that no limits are necessary if one recognizes that we are a whole and divine participation of being.  With this in mind and with moment clear and present one can act with resolve and without fear and release ourselves of the tyranny of sacrifice, that only serves martyrs.  And come on! Who really want’s the life of a martyr?  I’d much rather be a hero.

Be here and now and you will find no limits!  And thus you will always be present where you need to be.